Saturday, June 20, 2009

How did Bill and Hillary Clinton meet ?

How did Bill and Hillary Clinton meet ?

- They were dating the same girl in highschool.

Bill Clinton is considering changing the democratic party emblem from a donkey to a condom, becuase it stands up to inflation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives a false sense of security while being screwed.

What are the two worst things about Bill Clinton ?

- His face.

Sadam Husain calls Bill clinton and tells him: "Bill, i called because i had a dream."
Clinton: "what was the dream about, Sadam?"
Sadam: "i dreamt that USA was rebuilt and on the top of each house there was a flag."
Clinton: "and what was written on the flag?"
Sadam: "Allah is big, Allah is great!!!"
Clinton: "you know what Sadam, it's good that you called because i had a dream too. In my dream Bagdad was rebuilt and on the top of each building there was a flag too."
Sadam: "what was written on the flags?"
Clinton: "i don't know, i cant read hebrew!!!!"

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

An old Indian is standing on the corner.

An old Indian is standing on the corner.
A good-looking woman passes by, on the way to work. The Indian raises his hand in greeting, and says, "Chance!" The same happens several days in a row. Woman walks past... The Indian raises his hand, and says, "Chance!" Finally, one day, she can't ignore it any longer, stops, and asks, "You're an Indian, aren't you?" He nods. She says, "I always thought Indians said 'How!' as a greeting." Indian says, "Already know 'how'. Just want 'chance'."


A reporter asked Chris Rock who do you think would win the presidency?He said quickly Obama. When asked why, he replied, has anyone ran a race with a Kenyan and won?

Going to war without the French
is like going hunting without your accordion.


A man is out walking in New York when he sees a girl being savaged
by a fierce dog. He fights off the dog by beating about the head with a stick and saves the girl's life.
The girl's mother rushes over to him: "Thank you, thank you, you are a hero, tomorrow all the newspapers will have headlines about Brave New Yorker Saves the Life of Young Girl"
"But I'm not a New Yorker," the man says.
"Oh, then it will say in all the newspapers Brave American Saves Life of Young Girl," says the mother.
"But I'm not an American," the man says.
"What are you then?" asks the mother.
"I'm an Iranian," the man says.
The next day he sees the newspaper headlines:
Islamic Extremist Kills American Dog.



How many French men does it take to defend the city of Paris?
Don't know...its never been done.

Hilary Clinton, George Bush, Sarkozy, a boy and a monk were stuck
on a plane that is falling fast. They are 5 but there are only 4 parachutes. Hilary said "I'm a woman, you cant leave a woman on a plane to die" so she took one and jumped. Bush said "I'm the smartest in the world, every one needs me" he took one and jumped. Sarkozy blabbed something in french that no one understood, he took one and jumped. The monk tells the boy "You take the last parachute, let me die" the boy said "Why? We can both jump." "How is that?" said the monk. the boy replies, "Because the so called smartest man Bush took my school bag and jumped!!!"